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4:02pm on Thursday the 2nd 2010f September
BREAKING NEWS: STEVEN SEAGAL STILL MAKING MOVIES!

Dolph Lundgren, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal were the kings of low-budget, B-action in the 80s, but only Seagal was the king of Three. Word. Titles. He was Above the Law, Marked for Death and Out for Justice. The longer his reign went on, though, the more eager people became to see him fall. I've never seen moviegoers go as nuts in the middle of a movie as they did when Seagal met his fate in Executive Decision -- it brought the house down with thundering applause and cheers. According to a new article on the man with the moves, Seagal isn't any happier about the state of his career than we are. In fact, the poor action star feels exploited and frustrated by his producers' continual insistence on keeping his films 'simple'. Seagal just wants some complexity!

He's so unhappy that he's disregarding the whole process of talking up his films and is instead badmouthing his current film, Once Upon a Time in the Hood. You see, according to Seagal, this direct-to-DVD thriller is without the 'spirituality' that guides the reincarnated Buddhist Lama in real life.

cinematical.com digg this

Like anyone else, in my spare time I like to come up with Steven Seagal movie titles. Obviously they have to be three words in length, and you have to be able to say "Steven Seagal is" before them. Here are some to get you started!

Steven Seagal is ... Under The Weather
Steven Seagal is ... Bringing Me Down
Steven Seagal is ... Marked For Sale
Steven Seagal is ... Eating For Two
Steven Seagal is ... Without A Clue
Steven Seagal is ... Missing The Boat
Steven Seagal is ... Hurting My Brain
Steven Seagal is ... Losing His Hair
Steven Seagal is ... Dumber Than You
Steven Seagal is ... Sentenced To Hang
Steven Seagal is ... Pissing Me Off
Steven Seagal is ... Priced To Move

Sometimes I like to turn this into a drinking game - here's how you play: as you're coming up with the movie titles, have a bunch of drinks. I know, I know, some people always say, "Oh, but you have to have rules that say when you drink." My response to this is always, "Hey, that's great, you know who else liked rules? Hitler."

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