So yet another amazing study has surfaced, this time from the University of British Columbia (pffffft!) and Harvard (ibid), claiming that money can buy happiness, but only if you spend it on other people. Who these "other people" are, they don't say. but I bet it's researchers.

These knuckleheads gave 630 volunteers $5 or $20, and half got instructions on how to spend it. Those who spent the money on someone else reported feeling happier.

To which I say, DUH. It wasn't their money to begin with, you jerkwads. That's why it didn't matter! If it was, you can bet it would have been spent on meth instead.

Look we know stingy people are miserable jerks. Just look at babies. They're very selfish and all they do is cry. But I'm suspicious of this research: one, because researchers are dweebs - and two, it's just an excuse to bash America. The researchers claim their findings explain why people are no happier here in the US, even though we are richer than ever. But they failed to point out that America gives more money away than any country in the world. If they did, then their study would have been shown to be as idiotic as my houseboy Ricardo, who still can't figure out how to use a bidet.

Lastly - it's crap like this that paves the way for "pro-social" spending - pushing the idea that the more we get taxed for pointless programs, the happier you should be.

Me, I'm a giver. But if you had answered my ad on Craig's list, you would have known that already.