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4:09pm on Thursday the 2nd 2010f September
THE WAR ON HALLOWEEN

I'm working to go green this Halloween because I spent so many years of it in red. Red plastic. Yes, I celebrated the majority of my childhood Halloweens decked out as a red devil. A red plastic devil. I sported a red plastic cape (it seems that I was some unique breed of super-devil), red plastic horns and a red plastic pitchfork.

And if memory serves me correctly, each year I also slid into a shiny pair of red plastic pants - plastic pants! Granted, it was the early 1980s, a period not known for its use of organic materials or colors, but all that plastic continues not only to clog up my recollection of Halloweens past, but it's also most likely still sitting in a landfill waiting to biodegrade.

Halloween can be an especially eco-unfriendly holiday. There's the single-use plastic of red devil costumes, countless candy wrappers (not to mention the refined sugar, high-fructose corn syrup and artificial color of the candies themselves) and disposable decorations. According to the National Retail Federation's Halloween Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey, Americans will spend more than $5 million on Halloween paraphernalia this year. That's more than $5 million worth of stuff that ultimately ends up impacting the earth.

Today via MSNBC digg this

Trick-or-treating is great fun for anyone under the age of twelve. Dressing up as The Little Mermaid or Batman and getting an orange plastic pumpkin full of otherworldly colored goodies is ninety percent of the fun of Halloween.

However... If you are older than twelve and show up at my door; Expect the hose. I am dressing up as a 1968 Chicago police officer this year. It gives an excuse as to why I have so many hoses and handcuffs around.

I kid, that is stuff I should hide... The fact that someone's basement has no more storage space is too difficult to explain to trick-or-treaters. Anyways, kids want candy not excuses.

Instead, what I will dress up as this Halloween is the smugly lazy eco-journalist. I will wear whatever I wore to the office, slather green paint onto my skin then not fact check anything I write that night.

Americans spend about five billion, not million on Halloween treats. That figure took about thirty seconds to research... and that was after four shots of pumpkin spice schnapps.

Also if anyone has some empty boxes; Leave them in Bryant Park at 3AM. Someone's "stuff" is not exactly going to pack itself by the end of the month.

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