The Daily Gut

ANOTHER PICTURE OF TARA REID FALLING OUT OF HER BIKINI

The fashion flock flew to South Beach last weekend for the Sunglass Hut Swim Shows Miami, presented by Lycra -- a four-day slate of designer swimwear shows set up in tents around the pool at the Raleigh Hotel.Front-row seats were coveted by magazine editors, boutique buyers and C-listers such as Mickey Rourke, Gabrielle Union, Finesse Mitchell and Tara Reid, as well as locals such as celeb designer Esteban Cortazar and Big Brother alum Beau Beasley.

southflorida.com

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I figured out how quickly Tara Reid went from every youth's wet dream to your stereotypical divorced, raspy-throated drunken aunt: two years, 6 months and 22 days. Am I not alone in thinking that she should retire from public view and get a job as a real estate agent? I guess part of me thinks she would look great in a bright yellow blazer. She could have a business card with her picture on it (question: why do real estate agents have pictures on their cards, but the rest of us don't? This seems racist. Or, at the very least, "cardist").

More important, if you're looking to buy a house, you might be able to convince Tara to meet you after work at TGI Fridays - or maybe Bennigans or Red Robin - and after buying her a few mudslides, convince her to go back to one of the properties and have sex on a tarp in an empty living room.

This is a common fantasy I have with real estate agents. It actually doesn't have to includeTara Reid. (feel free to substitute Mike Reid, who played Doug "the Head" Denovitz, in the movie Snatch).

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