Now, there's something very troubling about the couple who snuck into that White House dinner - and it's not just their "Easy-Bake oven" hair, or their beady, heat-seeking eyeballs.

No - it's something else... and that something else makes me want to freeze Tareq and Michaele Salahi solid, board them up in a box and drop them into an Arctic sea, "Blob" style.

Part of it, I guess, is that they're social climbing chuckleheads - the desperate kind whose quest for notoriety trumps productive living. In their heads, getting close enough to lick a Joe Biden hair plug is worth whatever sacrifice - especially if the sacrifice isn't theirs.

And, as it turns out, it wasn't.

Today, the head of the Secret Service has announced that because of the security breach at last week's dinner, three agents are now on administrative leave. And that's the price for your fame, Tariq and Michaele: three tarnished careers. Congrats.

But there's the bigger story here. The world is a crazy place filled with crazy people wanting to harm our President. Worse, if a nutbag pulls a Hinkley, we now have factions who see nothing but conspiracy. And that means any event putting our President in jeopardy also puts us in jeopardy - more so than any time in history. And I include the chaotic period when unicorns fought griffens over primacy of the forests (1966 - 1970). As you know, the unicorns won. :)

So don't' punish the cops. Punish the couple. Harshly. Force them to spend a year watching their own home videos, or listening to their own fawning voice mail messages - while having actual famous people stop by to ignore them. Make them watch "A Double Shot of Love" at a bar, but not in the VIP section.

Then maybe afterwards, if these socialites had any real class, they'd personally apologize to the agents. After all, it might make a great photo for their album.

And if you disagree with me, then you're probably racist.