The Daily Gut

KATRINA RESCUER SUED FOR BORROWING BOAT (not pictured) TO SAVE OLD PEOPLE (also not pictured, probably sleeping soundly)

A Broadmoor man who said he rescued more than 200 residents after commandeering a boat during the flood after Hurricane Katrina is being sued by the boat's owner for taking it "without receiving permission."

Mark Morice, who by the Wednesday after the storm said he "couldn't get more than a block or two without people screaming to me for help," took the boat "out of necessity. . . . I did it for my neighbors."

nola.com

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If there's a lesson to be learned from this, it's don't save old people. And also, don't borrow boats unless you plan on returning them. Or if you do borrow a boat, at least leave a note or something. Maybe like this:

"Dear boat owner, during this difficult period, I borrowed your boat to save some old people from drowning. Here's my phone number, and I'll try to get it back to you safely."
Your friend,
(fill in your name here)"

Feel free to use this note on any occasion, even if there is no hurricane, and you just need a boat because it happens to be a nice day.

PS: I lent my father's golf clubs to a coworker and I have yet to get them back.
That was ten years ago. I may sue, unless of course this coworker was using the clubs to help rescue old people. Though I doubt that's the case. I think he was using them to play golf. If anyone has seen the clubs, they were in a red and black bag. There are some dirty golf socks in one of the side pockets, as well as a soggy photo of Joe Santos.

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