Hypochondria, like cocaine, is God's way of telling you that you have too much money.

On the other hand, if you'll chug some more codeine and go bannans during taping tonight, you could restore some cache to Bellevue Hospital's psych ward. All the really crazy celebs seem to go to Cedars-Siani or one of those other West Coast treatment centers these days.

Feel better Greg! You did great last night.

Funny you don't hear about Tennis Elbow and Gout too much any more. I guess they don't sound as sexy as ADD, OCD or RLS. I know RLS is nothing to shake your leg at. Baaa Haaa Haaa.

I think celebs just are trying to squeeze out one last bit of attention out of the toothpaste tube of fame. Not in a film? Don't have a new show? Get sick! It doesn't matter if it is true or serious. Someone will feel sorry for them. Entertainment tonight will dedicate a whole episode! Which is a win for lazy writers.

Greg, Janice Dickenson was a riot last night. I think I injured a rib laughing so hard. Gotta have her back!

Patty Anne Brown: If beauty were a department store, I'd make all my deliveries in the rear.

Andrew WK. if musical talent were an alarm clock it would always be party time.



Pattie Anne Brown, if astute commentary were a golden retriver, she would be the one that caused me to do community service.



The Greg Wilson, if comedy were a puppet, my fist would be in him.

this is a good one

I have OCD and RLS. I wash my hands about 50 times a day and I'm constantly pacing around. What I don't do is hand people tissues.

What we need is a bronchitis telethon. I nominate John Scneider as host. He hasn't been up to much.



Rachel Perry, if hotness were a bureau, I'd fill her drawers with my junk.



Andrew WK, If musical talent were a bowling alley, I'd steal his balls...Bowling alleys have plenty of extra.

PowWow: A different take that just creeps me out more for some reason.



Andrew WK, If musical talent were a bowling alley, I'd rent his shoes.

Dark: Teamwork,



If Andrew WK, if musical talent were a bowling alley, I'd rent his shoes and play with his balls...I left my own at home it's what they have them for



Rachel Perry host of VH1's Web Junk, a show I enjoy while getting my palms shaved with my good friend Griff Jenkins

Pow, Dark : You both have it wrong.

It's, if musical talent were a bowling alley, I'd play with his balls.

Pow : Sorry, you beat me to the punch.

Greg Wilson, if comedic talent were shelter on a rainy day, I'd try to get inside of him.

If musical talent were a bowling alley, I'd rent his shoes and play with his balls, while you score on his alley

Yes, a telethon is in order. Instead of those wonderful prison reruns on MSNBC, let's have the Gout-a-Thon. Ed McMahon can MC. The camera pans to a living room filled with fat, drunken slobs, smoking cigarettes, eating oysters, drinking single malt scotch and getting laid.

"With your dollars we can find a cure to this debauchery right now!

Red Eye - It's like a telethon without a cause

If hotness were groceries, I'd check her out and bag her.



If cuteness was a magic trick, I'd do her at parties to impress my friends.

Redeye starts when my wheezing stops. I keep being mistaken for Kathleen Turner.



Redeye, it's like Schoolhouse Rock, only our Bill can be found on a street corner not capitol hill



Dr. Michael Baden, if brains were a shower head, I'd turn him on and let him wash all over me

I am glad I don't have OSBS(Ovwer sized bank account syndrome), DS(Dip Shittia), NPLS(Non productive life syndrome)



Question is BLS a male disorder?

Sorry Is RLS a male disorder?

Welcome to Red Eye...It's like the Facts of Life, except it's full of lies.

Patti Ann Browne, if beauty and smarts was popcorn I would cover her butter and eat her at the movies, leaving a sticky mess on the floor.

Here's Dr. Micheal Baden - maybe you can give Bill a colonoscopy right here on the table - and if he keeps it up, you can perform an autopsy. Maybe you'll find my missing cap pistol and Andy's missing flashlight. He's a thief I tell you.

We should find a way to get liberalism declared a mental disorder.

Then we can throw them all in funny farms and they won't be able to vote.

I thought this was supposed to be Saturday's show. There are debates tonight, so don't get your hopes up.

i saw dr baden once in person, he looked like he could be his own patient....actually his own "subject."

Welcome to Red Eye: it`s like the New Deal - but we don`t consider Depression all that Great

Greg -- That sucks about being sick. I had a flavor of that a few weeks ago (it would be nice if the mucus came in different flavors, but alas...). Anyway, I know what you're going through and it sucks. If Bill makes a stupid comment you can just threaten to cough on him.

Red Eye! It's like coughing up something that makes you horny again!

To the Gregalogue!

It's heavily medicated!

EXPLOSIONS THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO TAKE MORE DRUGS!!!

"I thought this was supposed to be Saturday's show. There are debates tonight, so don't get your hopes up."



My Tivo says Red Eye is on tonight at it's usual time. So we'll see.... Also it says it's on at 7pm PST on Saturday so at this rate who knows. I guess we'll know when it starts.

Dr. Baden is fun, especially when Greg quizzes him on all things...dead.

Red Eye! It begins right after I check to see who's trying to get out of the cript once again!

PowWow; If Andrew WK were a bowling ally, most people would consider wiping off his pins and polishing his balls. Had to go one more...

Greg sorry about you being sick guy..I know how you feel...actually I don't hehe...but i have had the flu the last few days, so I know mucous sucks....



Patti Anne....if beauty were a hurricane...she could blow me all day long

It's amazing how many actors require Oxycontin for Restless Leg Syndrome. Then again, it's amazing how many of them get RLS after doing an 8-ball of Meth.

What about "fibromyalgia"? A (disease) of exclusion according to doctors. Great way of getting opiates, just say I hurt all over 10 times, ten visits to the doctor. (Be sure to miss your MRI and Cat scans). Say your cat clawwed you and you get instant sympathy from cat loving doctors (and codeine). Go Ted Nugent!