When I was in the 3rd grade and I called a kid a "retard" for not getting my joke, I was sent to the hallway (our sense of punishment. But to be fair, the hallway was boring as hell.



Now, after ALL these years, somebody not picking up on my humor IS in fact a state of mental retardation. I feel so avenged.

P.S., I wonder what you evolved into?



P.P.S. Somebody tell Bill that Aramis Ramirez raped the White Sox today.

I suppose this puts me at the top of the food chain or something?

great...now I have to come up with a whole new goal in life

This is great news. Now all those people who think I'm a jerk are really just stupid. That's what I've been telling them the whole time. Stupid people piss me off.

I always had a feeling that I was special... Not in the "he has a glandular deficiency" way that mum always marketed me as...



It's is long-overdue that I be acknowledge as "Man+" or "Man Version 2.0" or plain old "Uber-Man"...



In a realted matter; soon my victory will be complete and you will all kneel before me and beg for my mercy...

In a further related matter, I cannot type the word "related" and eat a whopper at the same time...

I am amazed at the increasing incidence of irony deficiency. I hate when people don't recognize one of my witty observations. There must be a pill for that...

DWF searching for a middle-aged male with an undamaged parahippocompal gyrus. Top of my list now.

At the School of The Immaculate Contraption, the nuns would send me to the school library as a form of social deprivation. It wasn't so bad. When even one more kid joined me in the library, in fact, social interaction was enhanced.



When the librarian was out, we sailed paper airplanes out the window and hit the groundskeeper on his old bald head.

People with dementia or head injuries also don't notice the [sarcasm] and [/sarcasm] tags on political blog posts, often resulting in the "grouchy old man" school of message reply.

Also, I always suspected Statler and Waldorf were more advanced than Yoda.

Dr. Rankin should also add irony to the list of social necessities, such as in the irony that she works here in San Francisco, where both sarcasm and irony have been outlawed by the sensitivity police. Moving here from NYC, I thought something had been missing all these years.

"Moving here from NYC, I thought something had been missing all these years."



Actually, you were probably missing an NFL team, not sarcasm. ;)

Holy sh**, I just realised you said San Fran and not L.A.



I take it back.

Head injuries do what?

Is it being suggested we eat sarcastic people? Or people with brain injuries. It is kinda important I know quick like.

Rest in peace, George Carlin. You ARE my favorite!!!!

One of the best movie lines, ever, uttered by Statler or Waldorf at the end of The Muppet Movie:

"I've seen DETERGENTS that leave a better film than this!"

Two of the best stand-ups of all time: Bill Cosby's "To Russell, my brother, whom I slept with"

and George Carlin's "I Used to be Irish Catholic". I nominate these because they were brilliantly funny, hugely identifiable explorations of each man's childhood -- and even after all these years, I still know both by heart.



Thanks for the laughs, George. There were too many to count.

From the album "AM/FM":

"I got fired from the Frontier Hotel in Las Vegas for saying 'Shit!'...in a town where the big game is called, 'Crap'."

"People with dementia, or head injuries in that area, often loose the ability to pick up on sarcasm.."



- I wonder if a head injury would cause you to confuse "loose" with "lose."

there, their, they're

here, hear

to, too, two

no, know, now

then, than

you're, your

I don't no what your talking about.

But I think it's blogging that must cause that stuff. Also, here's proof one can have head injuries and sarcasm.

Hey! Ask Dr. Baden about that part of the brain if you haven't already taped. He's dead funny!