Welcome to Red Eye! It's like Hunt for Red October, if by "October" you mean "Assed Baboon"



Bill Schulz, in Oklahoma he's a Noodler.

^ Welcome to Red Eye! It's like The Hunt for Red October, if by "October" you mean "Assed Baboon"

Brilliant, Gregalogue. These assclowns just wanna turn a blind eye to shit, or apologize, and think it'll stop that way. Meanwhile, when they're turning, the rest of us'll get screwed.

Jim Norton (!!) if hilarity were a cruise, I'd ride him to the Caribbean with my wife

Mike Baker, if insight were a bathtub, I'd caulk his crack

Welcome to Red Eye... it's like The Shaggy D.A., if by "D.A." you mean "B.A."

Barret Swatek, she so adorable she's recommended by 9 out of 10 drs for depression

Our next guest once torched a prius with a zippo & a can of sterno for taking up 2 spaces in front of their house. No not Barret Swatek, she's great. I was talkin bout Katie Couric

RedEye, It's like 30 Rock, if by 30 you mean dollars

Jim Norton; he's so hilarious, dentists now use Norton gas instead of laughing gas.

Mike Baker; he's sp comely, mannequins are now called Mike Baker-quins.

Barrett Swatek; she knows fried ocra, like I know fat Oprah.

Bill Schulz... in Cairo he's considered a pipe-cleaner.

Mike Baker, he knows covert ops, like I know halter tops. I'm not afraid to show a little skin.



Jim Norton, he knows comedy clubs, like I know hiding in shrubs.



Barret Swatek, she knows family sitcoms, like I know websites with hot moms.

Welcome to RedEye: It's like Pardon the Interruption. If by interruption you mean flatulence.

Jim Norton: He knows packed houses like I know packed crawl spaces.

Bill Schulz: In Taiwan he's considered a sheath.

Mike Baker: If bravery were a kazoo, I'd blow him at childrens' parties.

Barret Swatek: She's so hot that heat rashes are now called Barret Swatek rashes.

I love the fake controversy about not getting Congressional approval for a program that has not gone "operational"



Barret Swatek: She's so hot, potters use her to harden their knick-knacks.

And highlights of the Red Eye softball game against a team full of strippers.(i chipped my tooth).

...those silicone implants can get kinda hard after a few years.



Welcome to Red Eye -- It's like "Pimp My Ride", if by 'ride' you mean 'houseboys'.

Welcome to Red Eye, it's like Press Your Luck, if by Luck, you mean third nipple.

Jim Norton, if hilarity were a golf course, I\'d aim for his holes on my day off.

Welcome to Red Eye, it's like hearing opening statements, if by opening you mean 'gunshots' and by statements you mean 'at 3am'.

Geez, just when you thought libs couldn't get anymore idiotic.

Welcome to RE, it's like Islands in the stream, if by "Islands" you mean Houseboys and by "stream" you mean urine.

Barret Swatek, she's so hot, sunstroke is now called Barret Swatek stroke..

Bill Schulz, in Hershey he's considered a fudge packer..

Mike Baker, if rugged manliness were ice cream, I'd enjoy licking him on a h...

Mike Baker, if rugged manliness were ice cream, I'd enjoy licking him on a hot day..

Jim Norton, he's funnier than a drunken clown in a naked jello wrestling match with Michael Moore..

Spot on glogue Greggers. The reason why die hard lefties hate this idea is because it is awful to them that people who hate America as much as they do would be killed...



Jim Nortion if comedic genius were jolly rancher, I would suck on him until my tongue turned green. I loves me that apple.

Mike Baker if intelligence were a guitar, I would string him up and pluck him in from of a campfire.



Barrett Swatek she is so cute that smurfs mutilate themselves upon the thought of her.



Welcome to Red Eye, its like Deliverance, without the foreplay.

Welcome to Red Eye - it's like "Red Dawn" if by "Dawn" you mean "Shorty Robe Flair"



Bill Shulz - in Myrtle Beach he's a squirt of tanning lotion.

Bill Shulz, in Bayamon, he's puddy.

Welcome to Redeye, it's like M*A*S*H, if by "MASH" you mean "Miguel the Attractive Shortyrobe Houseboy"



sorry that's all I got for today, I'm very hungover...

Jim Norton, if hilarity were a belt I'd use him to tan my hide.



Mike Baker, if fierce commentary were a hoppity hop, he'd make children squeal with delight.



Mike Baker, if fierce commentary were a hoppity hop, children ride him in the park.



Barrett Swatek, she's so hot she burns firewalkers feet.

"Kill the bad guys!" If that idea makes you lose sleep, tie a rope around your testicles and jump off the clothes rack!



Red Eye...it's like Circus Peanuts; the more you chew..the more you got!

Bill Schulz, in Spain he's considered a castanet.



Jim Norton, if comic genius were a plumb pie, I'd stick my thumb in him, to see if was done.

This CIA assasination plan was already perpetrated and copyrighted by Chuck Barris which is why it was Gonged.

Greg, The CIA's job isnt to kill the terrorist,

but to help us understand the terrorist.

Why do they terrorise? Why is it our fault?

Will a big hug and a muslim president help?

Libs just know how the CIA is supposed to do its job better than they do.

BTW-

hope that chipped tooth wasnt too bad-

I did the same thing a month ago.

Hope FNC covers dental- root canel + new cap= $1000.00 and about three trips to the dentist:(

Jim Norton- so funny Greg will use his farts as laughing gas while he gets his tooth capped.



Mike Bake- James Bond is a pussy with just 1/2 of Baker's good looks.



Barrett Swatek- cute enough to cause cancer.



Bill Shultz- in China he's a McNugget.

the fake outrage over a non-event in order to increase flagging popularity poll numbers is disgusting - however, since they're so opposed to the "violence solution", I suggest they show their conviction by eschewing the use of armed body guards for themselves and their families.

I mean, although their haven't disclosed their intent to kill off any assailants, it could totally have happened, and I, for one, am outraged that they've yet to rid themselves of those they hired to apply maximum damage to any threat

edit* although their b-guards haven't disclosed ...

This, and the proposed investigations into Bush, strike me as political cover for Pelosi and an attempt to change the narrative from Obama's declining popularity. Only Bush derangement can save Obama. Weren't leaks an issue after 9-11?



www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/wire/bal-te.bush10oct10,0,5945801,full.story

I wonder why they'd want to keep something from congress in such a clim...

P.S. I want to spoon each and every guest on your show tonight. Baker and Norton are always entertaining. My Two Fans is a very funny show and Barrett makes for excellent eye/ear candy.

Welcome to Red Eye, it's like Sea World, but without Joy Behar doing tricks.

Jim Norton; if hilarity were a hall closet I'd keep my junk in him.

Mike Baker; He knows rendition like Greg knows dentition. It's a tooth thing, you wouldn't understand.

Bill Schulz; He comes with a money-back guarantee.

This illustrates the colossal disconnect from reality our leaders share. Great link Harold – there should never be a time when a daily blogger feels the need to point out how wrong it is to leak, let alone outright divulge, classified information. This shit defines "goes without saying"

Unfortunately people require constant reminding. This lunacy that everyone should be privy to all information at all times is going to bite us in the ass one of these days.

Damn, this subject is exhausting. I refuse to believe, in this day and age, that people actually don`t realize that leaking information is detrimental to those in harm`s way. It`s classified for a reason. I truly believe that those who do leak info are weak human beings who do it to feel powerful or important. (duh, right?)

Treason: "the betrayal of a trust or confidence; breach of faith; treachery."



www.lectlaw.com/def2/t103.htm



Too much? Tell that to the hard chargers secretly killing bad guys for your freedom. Too much? I say not enough – it`s time we start holding traitors accountable.

Maybe not death but, I guarantee if you start throwing a major league ass whuppin` to those who spill the beans, that shit will cease. It`s called deterrence - look into it.

Hey Greg, just wondering if you knew that the name red-eye in "baseball lingo," hey maybe its not just baseball lingo, but I don't know, actually means butthole. Cuz you guys are kinda buttholes. Just wondering if it was on purpose. Love your show!

Bill Shulz, he is "That Thrill" up Chris Mathews leg.