S.E. Cupp: If insightful commentary were an ice cream flavor, I'd ask for two scoops.

Jesse Joyce: He's funnier than a pack of keebler elves cooking to death screaming smurfs on a

Hibachi Grill.

Andrew Breitbart: He knows conservative views like RedEye knows rave reviews.

Welcome to Red Eye! It's like "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" if by "Dinner" you mean "The Gangbang?!"



Bill Schulz, in Washington he's a 2 pound frozen ham sliced.

"as gorgeous as Obama can`t even unload this crap."

It\'s like a hot nurse giving you an enema. She might be hot, but you're still getting an enema.

Jesse Joyce, he's so funny Carlos Mencia steals all his jokes

Andrew Breitbart, if intelligence were stirrups prgnant women would stick their feet in him at the gynecologysts

Bill Schulz: In Ibiza, he's considered an after school special.

Welcome to RedEye: It's like Boys Town, if by Boys you mean She-Males.

SE Cupp, if insight were a candy bar, I'd pick her up at 7-11 & have her for a quick lunch

Redeye, it's like Gene Simmons Family Jewels with a wider tongue

Jesse Joyce, if hilarity were bacon & eggs, I'd give him to my wife in bed on our anniversary

Jesse Joyce, he knows comedy slapstick, like I know bubblegum berry chapstick.



Andrew Breitbart, if exposing hollywood liberal thought were a tambourine, I'd dress up as a hippy flower girl and bang him on my knees.



S.E. Cupp, If strident conservative thought were a parachute, i'd pack her in my sack.

It's difficult to even debate these issues when proponents will only discuss the slogans as they seek to obscure the product.



Andrew Breitbart: If incisive commentary were sunscreen, I`d ask him to rub a squirt onto my back.

Bill Schulz: You can find him in the library under Balzac.



Happy Birthday, Kevin Godlington!

Community Organizer=community ignorance spreader

It is like a lot of things... a good cause or idea almost always become corrupted or cliche. Look at MADD, Brady's guncontrol zealots or the Contract for America. They get fat on power and influence... and nobody is brave enough to call them on their own BS.

Jesse Joyce he is funnier than a canoe welded via lighting onto a canadian's head.



Andrew Breitbart if intellectual capacity were a tilt-o-whirl I would ride him until I vomited.



S.E. Cupp she is so delightful that angel food cakes are now called Cupp Cakes.

Judging from today's reports, I think Obama wants to make sure nobody's aware of the new budget numbers (and if Greg has a spare cage or two in his basement, I'm sure he'd be willing to put in there until the heath care vote is taken).



Welcome to Red Eye -- It's like "Iron Chef" if by 'chef' you mean 'maiden'.

Good point on the Gregalogue. It's not just that the "they" don't wan't to raise awareness about this stuff, but they actively engage in misinformation to further muddy the waters. The National bean counters in Washington just reported Obamacare will cost the taxpayers ... and the learned and erudite response from our fearless leader is something along the lines of "Trust me. It will not!" ...

SE Cupp ... if she were a stipper, I'd worship her pole.



Breitbart ... if political dilletantes were ham salad, he'd be chateaubriand.

SE Cupp - she gets the Gregalogical like I know the Diabolical.



Welcome to Red Eye - it's like "Sheep in Devil's Clothing" if by "Sheep" you mean "Greg and his associates" and by "Clothing" you mean "Loin Cloth".



Bill Shulz - in Encino he's a punk rock flyer.

Welcome to Brown Eye.. it's like "Do The Right Thing", if by 'Right Thing' you mean 'House Boy'.

SE Cupp, if beauty were grill, I'd clean her up before tossing my meat on her

Andrew BB, if wit were an empty ink cartridge, I'd pay a guy at the mall $10 to fill him up

Jesse Joyce, if hilarity were a Post-It Note, I'd make him stick to my sheets

Welcome to Red Eye... it's like The Devil Wears Prada, if you mean Red-Eye-Guy Wears Lucite Stripper Heels.

Jesse Joyce; if hilarity were a punch in the face, I'd be down of the floor with him.

Andrew Breitbart; he knows upright conservative principles, like I know back hair and facial pimples.

S.E. Cupp; she's so sweet, bees mistake her for their hive and make honey inside her.

Bill Schulz... in Angola, he's considered a door knob.

Andrew Breitbart: He knows worldly news like Andy Levy knows conspiratorial Jews!



SE Cupp: If clever political commentary were a NASCAR race, she'd start on the pole!



Jesse Joyce: He's so funny, circus clowns have been put on suicide watch!

Jim Stickley, he knows protecting identities, like I know wearing tighty whities. Under my shorty robe naturally, a prudent man must be discreet nowadays.

Welcome to Red Eye, it's like Anderson Cooper 360, if by Anderson Cooper, you mean "spinning sex swing"



Bill Schulz, in Cape Cod he's considered a siphon.

Greg, when these ass clowns start spewing crap like this health care bill, you should over-dub a roaring laugh track in the background to point out how moronic they sound.

Bill Schulz ... in Iowa, he's a corn cob.

Welcome to Red Eye, it's like "Horton Hears A Who," if by "Who" you mean "muffled scream from Greg's basement."

S.E. Cupp; If illuminating commentary were a fax machine, I'd press Send 'til she squealed.

Andrew Breitbart; He knows Hollywood like I know Jolly Ranchers. It's a Halloween thing.

Bill Schulz; In Mississippi, he's a magnolia!

here is what happens in San Francisco when 40 plus year old women mix with younger men in "night clubs". what's he grabbing?? it's as if he knows how it will feel within 7-10 days...



www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/object/article?f=/g/a/2009/07/20/seensters.DTL&o=4

Bill Schulz: In Kentucky, they just call him "jelly".



S.E.Cupp: If charm and grace were like a NASCAR pit crew, she could grease up my crankshaft anytime.

Welcome to Red Eye, it's like America's Got Talent, if by talent you mean hemorrhoids..

SE Cupp, she's so hot, people line up to slip into her on a cold winter's night..

Bill Schulz, in Bolivia he's considered a rumpus room..

Andrew Brietbart, he knows headlines like Bill knows breadlines..

Jesse Joyce, he's funnier than a keebler elf in heat surrounded by horny smurfs..

Andrew Breitbart, if wit and wisdom were a circus act, a dozen clowns could fit inside him



S.E. Cupp, she's sexier than a smurf daisy chain.



Jesse Joyce, if comic genius were a margarita I'd lick the salt off his rim.



Bill Schulz, in Malaysia he's original recipe.



S.E. Cupp, if political commentary were a biblical reference her cups would definitely runneth over.

I called this one years ago...the hippies of yesterday will morph into the pussies of today. Absolutely too stupid to realize their arguments are simply circular. Let's send 'em all to Gitmo!!

I was never aware awareness was so important. Thanks liberals.

Welcome to RedEye - It's like a hooteninny without the hoote.



Andrew Breitbart. If intense intelligence was a dill pickle, then I'd praise his gherkin and honor his spear.



Bill Schulz - In Bangcock he's a Thai noodle

Welcome to Red Eye, it's like Passion Fruit if by Passion Fruit you mean Everything But a Donkey

Red Eye...it's to great TV what the Activity Pit is to swirling bowls.

... or swirling bowels.

for some reason, without a Gregalogue/Daily Gut yesterday I was incented to drink my own urine and fashion a "nut and twig" basket out of left over cooking string and spent bottlerocket sticks.