Yay! The only sane Rachel the show's ever had on in the legs chair.



Welcome to Red Eye -- It's like "It Came from Outer Space", if by 'outer space' you mean 'my basement'.

Wercome to Brown Eye. It's like 'Astro Boy', if by Boy you mean Glide.

Bill Schulz, he smells like hot trash and butterscotch.

Br0ad Morris, if hilarity were a recycling bin, I'd put a bottle inside him.

Rachel (mmm!), she knows loud screams like I know wet dreams. What can I say, I sleep in my bathtub.

Juliet Huddy she is so charming that charm school is now called Huddy School



Brad Morris he is funnier than a dog urinating on a painting of dogs playing poker.



Blood Manor's Rachel, she knows corpses like I know corpses



Welsome to Red Eye its like My Mother The Car, if you mean by "my mother," you mean "you brother in the trunk of"

Welsome? That was a freat typo



TV's Andy Levy, he is opening up a veterinary clinic specializing in feline treatments called The Pawspital. Tell us Andy have you been losing patients?

Welcome to Red Eye... it's like Throw Momma From The Train, if you mean "Put On a Shorty Robe and Open the Door".

Juliet Huddy; she's so sweet, young men do tricks for a piece of her on Halloween.

Brad Morris; he knows the hilarious, like I know the nefarious.

Bill Schulz... on good days he's malfeasant.

Welcome to Red Eye. It's like "Get Shorty" if by Shorty, you mean Roofies.

Juliet Huddy - She's so beautiful the fairy tale Beauty and The Beast is now called "Juliet Huddy & The Schulz"

Brad Morris - He's funnier than a clown being beaten to death by a rubber chicken

Bill Schulz - He reeks of reclaimed water and Drakkar Noir

Rachel (!) - She knows blood and gore like I know seaside shores...where do you think I hide my houseboys' corpses after all?

Welcome to Red Eye, it's like Countdown, but without the space aliens or the contortionist..

Juliet Huddy, she's so sweet, Honeycomb cereal is now called Huddycomb...& who doesn't enjoy playing in the Huddycomb hideout?

Brad Morris, he's funnier than a deranged clown using smurf poop as shaving cream..

Bill Schulz, he reeks of rotting produce & shattered dreams..

Red Eye: It's like Late Night with David Letterman, only strangely less creepy

Bill Schulz: He still smells like a wet dog and he's trying to lick himself

Juliet Huddy: She's so smoking hot, smoke detectors are now called Juliet detectors

Brad Morris: He's funnier than watching a dog's reaction to Joy Behar's voice

Rachel: She's so delightfully scary that I'm considering converting to ...

Rachel: She's so delightfully scary that I'm considering converting to Zombie-ism .. or Scientology

Wouldn't that be zientology?

That was good, but you just know that it's just going to lead Europeans to condemn you and demand that you give the Palestinians their land back.

I was wondering if Rachel would be making a return appearance. Fantabulous.

Brad Morris: If hilarity were a swimming pool, I'd enter him with my shirt on.

Juliet Huddy: If beauty were a haunted house, teenagers would enter her with their eyes closed and gritted teeth.