Barret Swatek; if common sense were a hit movie, she'd flood the box office with popcorn butter oil and overpriced soda.



Brooke Goldstein; her command of language, reason, and the leg chair at 3am, are renowned.



Jesse Joyce; he's funnier than a sad clown giving a Smurf a colonoscopy with a modified griffin femur.

Welcome to Red Eye -- It's like "Saving Private Ryan", if by 'Ryan' you mean 'sex tapes'.

...and he's a veteran newser and a total loser, it's our New York Times correspondent; good to see you, Pinch.

Bill; he thinks a laptop is a dormroom game.

Jesse Joyce...if comedic wit were a yard sale, I\'d stop and examine his junk.

Barret Swatek...she's so attractive that magnets are now called Swateks.

Welcome to Red Eye - It's like Night at the Museum; if by museum, you mean tranny single's bar.



Bill Schulz - Even mosquitoes won't bite him, for fear of contracting disease.



Jesse Joyce - If comedic genius were a turnstile, commuters would jump him in the subway.



Barret Swatek - She's so hot, doctors recommend seeking medical treatment after exposing yourself to her.

Barret Swatek, she's so bright, on Halloween her head is used as a jack O' Lantern.

Brooke Goldstein, she's so hot, asbestos sends her love letters.

Jesse Joyce id comic genius were a salami, you'd find him in my pants.

Rep. Michele Bachman, if fiscal conservatism were a row boat, I'd do her on a lake.

Welcome to Red Eye, it's like The Green Lantern, if by Lantern you mean dime bag.

Barret Swatek, she is so hot that moths fly into her to die



Brooke Goldstein, so cute that Snuggles the bear leaves silent protests in her dryer



Jesse Joyce, funnier than one clown in ten coffins



Rep. Michele Bachman, knows passing bills like I passing rufies to Bill

Barett Swatek - She's sweeter than a Kiebler Elf being keelhauled by Captain Crunch.



Brooke Goldstein - She's cuter than a Hobbitt village being trampled by Barney the Dinosaur.



Rep. Bachman - She knows giving the left a poke like I know being sad and broke. I thought AOL Time Warner would be a good buy, who knew people?



Jesse Joyce - He's funnier than a mime getting mauled by Hyena...

Welcome to Redeye, the show that finally fulfills the promise of The One Hundred Thousand Dollar Secret Unicorn Challenge, a game show pilot from 1975, which aired once on channel 9 during a blackout.



And now its time for the Gregalogue... a steaming pile of genius contained in a flaming paper bag of love, and left on the vacant doorstep of your mind.



Barett Swatek... she's so hot she mak...

Barett Swatek... she's so hot she makes The Iceman Cometh... ... a well known play by Eugene O'Neil people... seem like just another frozen rope.

michele bachman - If politicians were composers she'd be Bach, man.



jesse joyce - If hilarity were a competition he'd make it to the first round.



baret swatek - She's so cute Pink Unicorns now have My little Barett Swateks'



brooke goldstein - She knows the legal like i know the illegal. I had to chain Julian to the radiator.

michelle bachmann - she knows articles of the constitution like I know barnacles from prostitution

This name is a natural: 'HISLAM'

I'm trying to post names for the gay bar but that thread doesn't seem to be taking posts anymore. So here goes:

The Radical Asslamist

Muhammed’s Retreat

Asslamic Conquest

The Camel’s Crescent

The Allah Ak-Bar

The Submissive Crusader

Behind the Veil

Jihad Jim’s

The Pig and the Prophet

Arabian Knights

The Submission Mission

The Sword and the Crescent

Cordoba Club-house

The Ma...

Here were the last three:



Cordoba Club-house

The Manly Mirage

Desert Dick’s