Many moons ago I wrote about how phony environmentalists use their so-called ethical beliefs to justify arrogant and asinine behavior. Examples abound: a socialite rails against plastic bags, as she boards her private jet to eat bat testicles with a shaman. An angry, goateed celebrity rails against neocon chickenhawks, days before being arrested for domestic abuse. A scabby rock star condemns us for not giving enough to the poor, as he passes chlamydia around like a snack tray.

Well, now research has backed up what we already knew: environmentalism is just a shield for jackasses to act more jackassy.

In a University of Toronto study, students were asked either to buy eco-friendly products or their conventional counterparts. For the green buyers, their good behavior (gauged by a number of tests) dramatically dropped. They cheated on games, lied to the researchers in order to win cash, and in an honor system designed to pay everyone - the greenies stole six times more than the eco-less consumers.

Also, they skinned and ate thirteen cats.

But look, you don't need a study to tell you this. Just look around. Right now as man-made global warming science falls apart like a house of cards made of poop, you're seeing the real character behind those once considered noble, earth-loving warriors emerge.

They're petty, lying creeps.

See nutbag butterfly expert Paul Ehrlich... once again, rearing his ugly head. Back in 1968, this bozo predicted that hundreds of millions would starve to death in decades, and suggested placing sterilizing agents in the water. He predicted food riots across the globe, and blamed western civilization for everything. And, yet despite this charlatan never being right about anything.... he's back. In the thick of the climate-gate scandal, he urged his global warming "colleagues" to go after the skeptics, instead of improving the science.

No surprise. What drives green activism isn't saving the planet - it's a hatred of humanity, and an envy of those who succeed. Ehrlich, and these "colleagues," see environmentalism as a game they can finally win - where counterfeit catastrophes create careers, and you - the individual - are always to blame.

Think about that the next time some idiot asks you about your light bulbs.

G-LOGUE, TO FOLLOW!

So this week, in Texas, the State Board of Education will be making important decisions about your child's curriculum.

I say "your child," because I have no kids - unless you count my ferrets "Captain Sparkles" and "Dangerzone."

They're children to me, but alas they don't read books.

Yet.

Anyway, this 15 member board will be deciding what's in and what's out, and then publishers will follow - since Texas, after all, is one of the largest textbook buyers in the world.

Now, I keep hearing rumors about scary changes being made to the books. But, I think, we're missing the point. It's not about what's being replaced in textbooks, but what's being excluded entirely, from the process.

I am refering to things kids really need to know, to prevent them from a life of failure.

Here's a list.

1.If you keep food in your bedroom, you're probably going to be a shut-in later in life.

2. Getting laid regularly in high school correlates with career failure later in life. Get what you want before you've earned it, and the rainbow ends in misery. See Leif Garrett.

3.Geeks inherit the earth, not jocks. See above.

4.Your opinion means little until you pay taxes or fight wars.

5.The views of people you think are really cool - like actors or pop stars - should never be trusted. They live a life independent of consequence.

6. Tattoos and piercings are just modern versions of conformity, and will get you nowhere in life except working the counter at Hot Topic

7. Achievement is more gratifying than fame. Being known for being good at something is better than just being known. Look at any O'Neal.

8. As much as you hate your parents, you'll end up needing them more than they need you.

9. Unicorns rule, and griffins suck. Get that through your thick skull, and you may end up a raving success.

10. Make your bed.

And if you disagree with me, you're probably a homophobic racist who wants to ban Christmas.

Didn't post yesterday's G-logue, because it was loaded with tape, including the robots. You'll be able to check it out at foxnews.com/redeye, or at bighollywood.com!

GREGALOGUE TO ARRIVE, SHORTLY!

Only on Red Eye, would an Olympic athlete be asked such a penetrating question.

And only Billy Demong would have answered it so honestly. The big question begins around 6:59. Honesty starts at 7:40.

Try to overlook the completely ignorant questions I posed about the actual sport ("did anyone else get a medal with you?").

Check it out, check it outers...

http://video.foxnews.com/v/4073771/bill-demong-got-his-gold

No g-log tonight!

Now, there's always a scene in zombie movies, when one non-zombie character will turn to another, and say, "If I ever turn into that, I want you to kill me." Then they make love, and reload.

Well, I want you, dear viewer, to make the same promise to me. Except instead of killing me if I become a zombie, I want you to kill me if I ever turn into Dylan Ratigan.

I am not joking. If you see symptoms of me frothing, twitching, or ranting until my eyeballs pop out and roll across the floor - I want you to hack me to pieces with a hatchet. Try to make it quick.

See, there is a reason why no one should ever be Ratigan. He has a hard time being himself. Check him out interviewing a Tea Party leader, Mark Williams, as if Williams himself ran a concentration camp in the 1940's.

((PAUSE FOR SOT!!!))

Okay, you'd assume he'd shut up, and let the guy answer. No.

((PAUSE FOR SOT!!!))

Charming! Does Williams get a chance to respond? Not really. Because when he tries, Ratty accuses him of trying to hijack the interview! Watch the last part, here.

((PAUSE FOR SOT!!!))

Awesome.

Anyway, I guess the segment was meant to analyze the fringe elements in an otherwise earnest movement filled with decent people. But because the analyst is Dylan Ratigan and the couch is MSNBC, you know it was just a ruse used to paint all tea partiers as a bunch of Nazi-sympathizers who eat babies.

More delightful, though, is the segment banner, which reads "Anger in America." Which makes sense - judging from his manufactured outrage, the angriest person in America is Dylan Ratigan.

It must suck doing Rachel Maddow's laundry.

And if you disagree with me, you're a homophobic racist tea-partying baby-eater.

g-logue to come