Folks, I just spent three hours surfing the net and did I learn a lot! Did you know that most of the news we get is controlled by the Bu$hies? Let me enlighten you about today's so-called terrorist bombing attempt in London:

1. There is no proof that this was terrorism. With Blair gone, there IS no more terrorism in the UK. This was obviously just someone's car, probably belonging to a nail salesman, who kept a lot of samples in his car. He was on his way to a barbecue, of course, which explains the propane. And he needed the extra gas, too, because - hello! - he was driving a gas-guzzler (instead of a hybrid, which is really mean-spirited).

So in effect, this was some right-wing, global warming-enabling carpenter on his way to char little animals for his own gratification.

2. Are we not supposed to notice it's the first full day of Gordon Brown's administration? This is a very CONVENIENT time for George Bush to claim terrorism is continuing. Tony Blair, obviously knew about this in advance and in a cowardly fashion, and at the behest of his Bu$h Yankee overlords, left office this week.

3. Admirably, the alleged bombers chose England - so anyone injured would receive free health care. If a bomb would have gone off in, say, New York City, imagine all the performance artists and stand up comics who might have been injured. Surely, as Michael Moore would attest, they'd be turned away from the ER.

4. It's also good they chose a Mercedes instead of the subway. Bombing public transportation would have sent the wrong environmental message. Targeting a symbol of conspicuous consumption sends a chilling message to physicians everywhere.

5. The car was parked outside a bar called 'Tiger Tiger,' which highlights the near extinction of that species. That can't be a bad thing.

6. The fact that the bomb did not go off demonstrates the inequity in standards of science education for ethnic minorities.

7. Clearly these people responsible are angry at us and I am proposing a minute's silence and formation of steering committee for us all to consider what we as individuals can do to make these people less angry.

Your Friend,
Greg