So Kidnation premiered this week to a nation of yawns. Remember, this was the show where they put 40 kids in a town to fend for themselves. Their biggest challenge, so far, was deciding whether to get a few extra outhouses - or a TV. They chose the outhouses, obviously because most kids are full of crap. Kids these days are coddled. We treat them like Faberge eggs, as opposed to the old days when you could riddle them with lawn darts. I wish I had some input in this show. For example, instead of chores and challenges, they should fight to the death. Dressed in drag.

Did you know that today is the International Day of Peace? The event, established by the United Nations in 1981, was designed to provide "an opportunity for individuals to create practical acts of peace," in order to build "cultures of peace for the children and future generations." What is a culture of peace? I don't know - but I bet it smells like patchouli and body odor. Why is it that pacifists talk like retards - they create ridiculous jargon like "collective progress," and "planetary future," - and then they wonder why we want them dead. The fact is pacificists aren't really peace lovers. In order for them to exist, we must fight wars. They're essentially parasites that depend on other to fight for their survival. I am marking the Internnational Day of Peace by eating a hoagie and setting fire to a yoga instructor.

And, in other news, Maureen McCormick, who played Marcia Brady in the Brady Bunch - confesses she had a lesbian fling with Eve Plumb, who played her sister Jan. I've got nothing to add, except Alice must be jealous.

AND THAT'S MY GUT FEELING.