There's been a lot of talk about the new Indiana Jones flick, and how awful it's supposed to be. Much of the criticism is focused on Harrison Ford - and it is eerily similar to the kind of stuff leveled at Senator John McCain – that it`s time to lose the chaps, cowboy, you're too old for the job

This age-ist thinking is off the mark. See, this is not an issue about getting old, but about acting your age. The real difference between McCain and Ford illustrates this. It`s not the six year gap that matters. It`s the earring.

Ford's, not McCain's, of course. You see, the real reason why Harrison Ford isn`t the guy we admire any more isn't because he's reached the age for a mobility scooter, but that when he reached it, he went out and inserted an earring into one of his flappy lobes. And this is why his new flick should be called Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Stupid Earring, because ever since he got that stud, all of his movies blow. What Lies Beneath? Firewall? Hollywood Homicide? Random Hearts? Six Days, Seven Nights? I think I`m going to be sick just thinking about that last one.

Bottom line: getting an earring is a sign you`re scared of aging and frightened of death. It`s why I like John McCain –a man who seems very comfortable being 71 (almost too comfortable, actually), while probably also being able to kick my ass. And I`d let him too. For reasons I can`t get into here.