So Obama's bold plan to save the economy involves hiring the jobless to install light bulbs, paint classrooms and...build windmills.

FYI: windmills are those funny looking things with long blades that kill innocent birds. They look great in postcards but only work when it`s windy.

Seriously, windmills don't just blow - they suck.

But what sucks more is that Obama is creating jobs for people with transferable skills – meaning he`s totally ignoring the media! What about the unemployed folks fresh from lifestyle magazines and gossip blogs?

This is scary, because the last thing we need is Paul Krugman standing around in Home Depot, offering to shovel your walk for twenty bucks. Jon Meacham couldn't fix a toilet at gunpoint. And can you imagine David Remnick trying to install a light switch in your kitchen? You better wear an asbestos jumpsuit.

See, Obama's just making jobs for people who are already skilled and therefore have nothing to worry about. What he really needs to do is create a make-work force for people who can only spout opinions and attend cocktail parties. We could call them community organizers!

See, paying newly jobless Americans to do busy work really didn't work during the New Deal, and it won't work now. You need to grow an economy using free market ideas, not turn the government into a job fair. Real tax reform - not rebates - creates new businesses, and new businesses create jobs. And while I'd love a new bridge – I am far from qualified to build it. I mean, I can barely get dressed in the morning, and for that reason, I often don't bother.