So since today is "A Day without a Gay," which encourages gays to stay home from work to protest the passing of Prop 8, I want to be the first to commend them on one of their biggest civil rights victories yet: Forcing some old lady to quit her job at a local Mexican restaurant.

Felicidades!

See, after the proposition passed, angry gays discovered that Margie Christoffersen, the lady who fills water pitchers at El Coyote restaurant, had given 100 bucks to the "Yes on 8" cause – which restricted the definition of marriage to include only straights. So gays besieged the place with – I admit – pretty hilarious protest signs - and after encouraging boycotts - the evil, horrible lady finally left.

Now, I know a lot of people may say this is nothing like Rosa Parks fighting for basic human rights or that Tienaman protestor blocking a tank.

They're right. This is braver.

I mean, it takes a lot of guts to ruin some old lady's life – just because she supports a bill based on her silly religious convictions! Seriously, if I was there – I would have thrown paint on her. But only the best. Laura Ashley Home. It's 88 bucks a gallon. This is a gay protest, after all.

But why stop there! Now that you dispensed with the old broad, get your ass down to those "other" parts of town where you don't brunch – and give those blacks and Mexicans a piece of your mind. And when you're done with that – confront the Muslims, who cling to a religion that's not only against you marrying – but living too!

Look – I'm all for gay marriage, but just because some folks aren't as enlightened as you are, doesn't give you the right to treat them like shit. No one is going to take you seriously until you protest more seriously. Blacks didn't protest where it was easy, and neither did women. Blacks sat in restaurants where they weren't welcome, and women protested outside the White House, in the cold, for days on end. But instead of circling a cineplex where a Tyler Perry classic is playing - gays are at a joint in west Hollywood a few blocks from a busy gay bar.

Anyway, comer con gusto!