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DarkUrthe
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If a political party bases it success on the success of our enermies... why is anyone voting for them?
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SimianWarhead
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Given the choice- without a urinal or the chance of getting caught, a guy would much rather pee in the sink. I guarantee you that somebody has peed in your sink at one time or another. There is a good chance it was me.
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DarkUrthe
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Do not masturbate wearing Tater Mits.
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Cthulhu Bob
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In honor of reversible mortgages, I've renamed the spokesman
"Bat Poone". I'm getting subscribed right now.
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DarkUrthe
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Salman Rushdie has written more great novels in the past 25 years than Islamists have written books.
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Jon Rich
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I cannot understand how abortion is legal, yet they charge people with double murder when they kill a pregnant woman..
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PowWow
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When your wife has to fight your battles for you, maybe president shouldn't be on your job search.
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Fargin Bastage
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Starbucks coffee tastes like burnt pinecones, and costs $3.00 more.
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drdilostues
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Nothing good has ever been preceded by the words, "I have worked here (any number of) years and..."
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SimianWarhead
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Ladies- Did you know that by wearing a pair of sweat shorts with a word or phrase written across the seat gives guys de facto permission to stare at your ass as much as they want to?
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Hank Hooligan
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Nobody listens to you if you know what you're talking about.
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Cuneos
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All lawyers are whores. Therefore, all judges are whores who get to play God.
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Peter Van Schoick
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If you are male and over the age of 12 and watch gymnastics, you are me.
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Mrs Buttersworth
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"Undisclosed medical condition" sounds so much sexier than "cocaine withdrawals"
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DarkUrthe
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If you have a Kerry/Edwards sticker on your car, you are a bigger loser than they are.
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jd nyc
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If your date accuses you of being a pedophile and your initial reaction is "wow, that`s an awfully big word for someone your age," this relationship is already more complicated than you thought it would be.
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Joe Doaks
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the world doesn't owe you a living.
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DarkUrthe
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If you named your Ohio based railroad modeling club "The Cleveland Steamers" you may want to consider a name change.
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DarkUrthe
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Paris Hilton is the most brilliant media whore... ever.
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DarkUrthe
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Paris pleaded for her mom. That was a mistake as mom's bribes did not go very far in the first place.
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